Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
