Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
