is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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