..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
