ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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