Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We named our party play list daddy issues

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(773): View more from Illinois

the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu

(773): View more from Illinois

which is why it's clearly superior

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(775): View more from Nevada

I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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(365): View more from

Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position

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(503): View more from Oregon

So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!

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(976): View more from

Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand

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(402): View more from Nebraska

tell me about the eggs

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