She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
