don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
