dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
