..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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