You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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