ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
