The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
