We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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