Heybabeimwearingurpanties
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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