i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
