I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
