now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize