I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
