If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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