Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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