Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
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i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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