i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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