You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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