come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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