I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
