i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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