Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
