He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
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Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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