in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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