Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
