So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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