im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
