"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
