Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
