Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
