Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
