STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
