I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
bring money and cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize