Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
