Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
