How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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