woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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