we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
40s are totally the cure
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
