He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize