god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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