yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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