i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
