Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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