i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have fence marks all over my body
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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