Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
