i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
