It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
