Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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