I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
this is an emotional support booty call
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
