just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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