i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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