definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
