i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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