Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
