Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
